Every day here kills me, inside. I CANNOT count on a single day that left me COMPLETELY happy n satisfied.. I can't think of one moment where I didn't feel incompleteness, a void. A dark hole.
I thought i am strong. Yes, I am strong but not enough. The way the world expects me to be. Despite being hammered for two and a half years, i am still clinging on the cliff.. Im still left broken on some unlucky days. I still have not learnt to carry a fake smile ALL THE TIME. Yes, i manage that smile for those few hours when we eat lunch together or crack some pjs or whatever...
I have not stopped cribbing and comparing my college days with school time. They are a world apart. It's like sky and earth. love and hatred. Friends and enemies. Care and indifference. Happy tears and sad tears. Family and hell. Two poles apart.